Tiny Dots

Sept 5, 2024

There's a reason the bulls-eye in the center of a target is small.

Most of us have basked in the "I did it!" glow of a preschooler when she learns to tie her shoes, or throw a ball into a hoop, or write her name. None of it comes easy, but when her hard work finally pays off, the gratification of having hit her goal propels her to the next one.

What IS work? Work is the target practice of putting energy into being productive. It's the effort to improve the world, to make it more organized, more suited to what the planet needs to thrive. It's the day-by-day thwarting of entropy, using the skills humans develop through their lives. It's failing to build something until you succeed. Every day, I throw lots of tiny metaphorical darts at lots of tiny metaphorical dots. When one lands in the right place, I feel great.

A child's work is to make the world better, too, albeit in smaller ways. Learning is work, often hard work, as is putting your toys away. So is expressing feelings constructively. Gradually mastering self-control. Assuming small responsibilities for helping out around the house. It doesn't matter how young or old you are, you can do work that makes your own life, and the lives of those around you, better. The more the grown-ups around kids remember that no one gets it right the first time, the more welcoming an environment they can construct for trying and failing, the more willing kids will be to try the hard stuff.

It's a useful way to frame an approach to the school year: Instead of asking "How was school?" when they get home, try asking "What did you work on today?" Then celebrate the small targets they hit, and be excited with them about what they're aiming at next.

—Deb